G.I. JOE VEHICLE SHOWDOWN, part 9 - Motorized Battle Packs

With "Wind-Up" Action...

 Starting in 1987, Hasbro started to put out some wind-up accessories for Joes and Cobra.  These were packaged on cardbacks and placed on the store pegs next to the action figures.  They never appealed to me though, and I never bought any.  Yet somehow, I have several in my collection.  I think my buddy, Bobby (aka Deathwish), got them on clearance years later.  

    Anyways, I have mixed feelings on these.  They attempted several different "wind-up" features.  Some worked, some didn't.  So let's check 'em out!  I have included all the Motorized packs and vehicles from 1987 and 1988.

    As per-usual, the rating scale is... 

10 - Awesome, Fantastic

9 - 7 - Various levels of Greatness

6 - 4 - Various levels of "Okay"

3 - Mediocre

2 -1 - Levels of Crappiness 

(these first Action Packs are from 1987)

1 - ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUN

    I just doubt this thing's ability to take down an aircraft.  Maybe a Viper Glider?!?!?  It's okay.  The machine gun barrel moves back and forth.  It can be worn on a figure's back or be a stationary weapon.  If it's on his back, I hope the user has good hearing protection!  I have this one.  It's a 6.  

2 - COBRA EARTH BORER

    Okay... I have this one and the gimmick is basically perfect for the spinning drill bit.  But seriously, it is going to take Croc-Master (he's in the package art using it) FOREVER to get anywhere!!  If Cobra wants to go underground I say use the Buzz-Boar vehicle.  It'll take a long time, but it will be faster than this thing.  It's okay... a 4.    

3 - HELICOPTER

    Now this is cool and useful.  I like it.  It gets an 8.    

4 - COBRA MOUNTAIN CLIMBER

    THIS is probably why they ended up hiring the Rock-Vipers a few years later!  I just think this thing isn't going to be super fast and you would be an easy target.  It's a 2.  

5 - COBRA POM-POM GUN

    I have this one!  This is kind a neat cannon that has that "pom-pom" firing action.  I think it's pretty cool!  I'll give it an 8.

6 - RADAR STATION

    I have this one too.  It's okay.  I guess it's necessary, but there isn't much happening here.  It's kinda mid... it's a 5.

7 - COBRA ROPE CROSSER

    I never had this one and this one looks like it would be fun!  It's going to take the first 10 on this list.

8 - ROPE WALKER

    Like the "Rope Crosser", this looks fun.  I already had a great time with the grappling hooks and ropes of guys like Alpine and Hit & Run, so I would probably be stringing these things from the coffee table to the potted plant or something.  This will also catch a 10. 

(the following "Packs" were from 1988)

9 - COBRA MACHINE GUN NEST

    It's alright.  Another gun.  How about a 6?

10 - COBRA TWIN-MISSILE RADAR

    Kinda like the G.I. Joe one, but they gave it missiles.  A definite improvement!  It gets a 8.

11 - DREADNOK BATTLE AXE

    Looks cumbersome.  To be fair, THIS insane contraption looks exactly like something the Dreadnoks would come up with.  But it looks crazy-heavy and impractical, and a little dumb.  Therefore will catch a 2.

12 - DOUBLE MACHINE GUN

    Another gun.  Looks kind of cool.  I like the stand for it.  A 7, I suppose...

13 - MINE SWEEPER

    The package art shows Lightfoot walking behind this thing with his OWN mine sweeper thing.  Almost showing how useless this thing is.  But I guess if this was a robot or remote... that's pretty useful!  Plus it has mines and the detector is removable.  I'll be generous and give it a 7.

14 - MORTAR LAUNCHER

    I don't remember this one, but I like it.  I like the storage for the projectile on the side.  It's cool.  How about an 8?

(The following 5 are the 1988 "Vehicle Packs")

15 - COBRA GYROCOPTER

    I like this.  A nice little portable copter thing you could use to get behind enemy lines or something.  This is a good one!  I'll say a 10!       

16 - SCUBA PACK

    This one is okay.  I'm sure kids would have fun with this thing in the tub.  Maybe a 7?  

17 - COBRA ROCKET SLED

    Looks awkward.  No Joe is going to fear anyone coming their way with this thing.  ACTUALLY... it looks like something Wile E. Coyote would buy from Acme!!  It gets a 2.  (If it was packaged with Wile E. Coyote, it would have gotten a 10.)

18 - ATV

    This looks like one of the Joes stole a kid's Big Wheel and gave it weapons.  I'll give it a 4... I mean, it could be worse, right?

19 - TANK CAR

    Yep... here's worse!  A tank car???  When this thing fires the whole thing goes flying backwards!  How bizarre!  It gets a 2.

    Well, this was an interesting ride!  In all fairness, I SEE what Hasbro was going for with these motorized packs.  Really, it was a good idea!  There were some of them that just fell a little flat.  As a bonus, the low price point was appreciated.  We didn't always have the $$$ for the vehicles when we were kids.    

    What are your feelings on these little motorized additions to the G.I. Joe Universe?  Did you like 'em or hate 'em?  Maybe you wish they made more of them.  What would you give them on a scale of 1 to 10?