One & Done - GRISTLE

"I go crazy when those G.I. Joes come after me, they just keep chasing, and chasing, and chasing..." - Gristle, 1993.

URBAN CRIME COMMANDER - GRISTLE

    The first time I saw Gristle on the store shelves, I was a little confused.  Gristle is listed as the Urban Crime Commander and the file card says he works for Cobra.  A Crime Commander??  Cobra needs this?  Something felt seriously off-track here.  So who is this guy and where does he really fall in the Cobra hierarchy?  The answer isn't totally clear till you dig a little deeper.

    Let's not save the surprise for the end and just spoil it right now.  The reality is, Gristle has NO place in Cobra Command structure because he really isn't a member of Cobra.

    Gristle was actually supposed to be a part of the 2nd Wave of the DEF (Drug Elimination Force) sub-group.  Outside of the United States, this scenario remained.  As far as American releases go, however, Hasbro decided to cancel a continuation of DEF and instead incorporated the 6 figures (Long Arm, Gristle, Mace, Headhunter Stormtrooper, Law and Muskrat) into the main Battle Corps line.  This move caused Gristle, the Headhunter Stormtrooper and a re-colored Headhunter trooper to become listed as members of Cobra.  The file cards were altered slightly, but it's easy to see where they were originally headed.

"They just keep chasing, and chasing, and chasing..."

    Neither Gristle's card-back or file card paint a pretty picture of him.  First of all, looking at his picture - he is pretty ugly looking and what is with the weird ponytails???  The file card mentions his horrible hygiene and how he never showered while going through "Headhunter training".  His apparent "tough" character landed him work with some major crime lords.  Eventually, he found his way to "Cobra" (probably originally said Headhunters), who also find him repulsive to work with.  It also makes mention about how he is easily recognized by his bloodshot eyes.

    The figure for Gristle has some interesting details, some of which are highlighted on the diagramed section of the file card.  On his head he has black shades to cover those bloodshot eyes of his.  The weird ponytails he has on his head on the card-back are a little more subtle, which is a good thing.  On his face he appears to have an evil grin... or he just stubbed his toe... could be either...? 

    For his uniform, he is decked out in what the file card calls a "rip proof, all leather street suit".  This leather suit is a combination of three colors - black, neon yellow and like a crimson red.  He has two "buck knives" sheathed on his chest.  On his left wrist he has a throwing knife and on his right wrist he has a beeper  (dates him a bit huh?).  For a belt buckle he has what looks like a skull with bat wings  (maybe he is an Ozzy fan).  Adding to his knife collection he has a fourth knife, a "bowie" knife" on his right leg.  Moving down to his feet, he has red "leather" boots.

    As a figure from "The G.I. Joe Class of 1993", Gristle comes with the typical weapons tree of recycled gear.  They were all colored in red and he came with a rifle (Rock-Viper), a pistol (Destro v3), a knife (Shockwave), 2 missiles and a figure stand.  He also came with a "missile blasting Tracker gun" - a yellow spring-loaded missile launcher. 

    As I began working on this write-up for the Gristle figure... I originally planned for him to have a low rating.  There is a few things to consider with this figure though.  A lot of it depends on how you look at him.

    In my eyes, Gristle is a Headhunter, NOT a member of Cobra!  I don't care what the packaging says.  That group of 6 figures were made for the DEF sub-group and I believe they belong there.  So if I were to rate this figure as a part of Battle Corps - he would be way low on the scale, because he doesn't fit Cobra.  But as a DEF figure, he is perfect for the Headhunters!  

    There are several other good and not-so-good factors with Gristle.  On the "up" side, the figure is very well detailed.  His mold and parts for the figure were all brand new when he was created.  The odd ponytails are down-played on the figure, so they don't look as crazy.  He looks like a shifty punk that would be up to no good, working for the Headman.  He also looks pretty formidable.  He looks like he could put up a pretty good fight against a Joe or Cobra.

    On the "down" side, there's those darned weapon trees.  The red color is too much red with his red uniform.  The fail of this situation is magnified when you consider that Wave 1 of the DEF figures not only had unique weaponry, but their spring-loaded accessories had the ability to light-up.  Wave 2 lost this feature.

    The file card doesn't help the character either.  The descriptive part is fine, but the weapon diagram is incorrect.  Those are not buck knives on his chest.  Buck knives fold in, so they wouldn't be sheathed on his chest.  Furthermore, the name "missile blasting Tracker gun" is terrible.  Does it blast missiles?  What and how does it track?  I don't know... 

    Another thing... Gristle's color scheme is extremely similar to that of the Crimson Guard Commander - also released in 1993.  Very strange.  Anyone else notice that? 

    So to rate Gristle... the figure is good, the accessories are bad and the file card is okay.  I'd say that lands him square in the middle with 3 out of 5 Pairs of Red Leather Boots.

    Only one figure was made of Gristle in the G.I. Joe line.  This makes sense as the toy-line ended in 1994.  Also, the DEF sub-group was done anyways... the Headhunters were defeated pretty early in their story arc in the comics and cartoons.

    What are your thoughts on ol Gristle?  Like him?  Detest him?  Did you consider him a Cobra or a Headhunter?  Let me know your thoughts below!!!