One & Done - CRYSTAL BALL

"When Crystal Ball zaps 'em, they stay zapped."  Crystal Ball, G.I. Joe Special Missions #24.

COBRA HYPNOTIST - CRYSTAL BALL

    The evil terrorist organization, Cobra Command, employs a wide variety of individuals.  You have your destructive saboteurs, stealthy ninjas and devious spies... they obviously need specialists like this as they attempt to conquer the world.  Yet, they also hired several unorthodox specialists as well...  One such character was the Cobra Hypnotist - Crystal Ball.

    Released in 1987, Crystal Ball, served as an interrogator.  His file card explains that Cobra does not use cruel methods for extracting information.  Instead, it says that Crystal Ball "can sometimes read minds".  A captured Joe needs to be more careful about what he's thinking, rather than what he's saying.  What is strange though, is that while he is the Cobra "hypnotist", his file card says nothing about his abilities to hypnotize people.  It just says he can sometimes read minds.  Let's stop on this fact for just a moment...

    Sometimes???  He can "sometimes" read their minds???  How does this work?  Are there those days where he's just not getting anything?  Then the next he's getting all the good stuff.  If he's attempting to read your mind, can you just think of stupid stuff and make him mad?  "Sorry Cobra Commander... all this Joe will do is think of Bugs Bunny cartoons.  Actually, he has a great episode going on in there... it's the one where Bugs outsmarts the gangsters!!"

    The figure for Crystal Ball has black and white hair and a thin moustache.  He also has red eyes (not to be confused with Scut Farkus who has yellow eyes...?  eh, nevermind...).  

    His outfit is quite unusual looking.  He wears a brown shirt that has gold details on it and a fur-lined collar.  He also wears wrist guards that share the same detail as his shirt.  His pants are grey with a pistol on the left side and he has black boots.

    Crystal Ball only came with one accessory - a "hypno" shield.  This shield, which clipped to his arm, had a lenticular sticker on it.  So it kind of gave it a spinny, hypnotic look to it, which was supposed to put his foes in a trance-like state.  I think he was in need of an actual weapon.  Once a captive like Roadblock or Sgt. Slaughter were to break free, Crystal Ball doesn't have a prayer!  I know he can't wing that shield like Captain America!  The poor guy needs something!!!

    As of the year 1986, Cobra had their Master Of Mind Control - Dr. Mindbender, already on the payroll.  In the comics they had the "Brainwave Scanner".  Later in 1990, they got Interrogator.  Why in the world did they need a guy that can "sometimes" read minds?  He is not a bad figure or character at all, but he just isn't really needed.  So looking at the character of Crystal Ball...  Who is he REALLY?  Let's look into this a little deeper...

    Let's face it, Crystal Ball is not out there leading Cobra troops into battle.  He's not infiltrating G.I. Joe Headquarters on some super-sneaky mission.  He's also not loading the cannon of a Maggot to bombard the enemy.  No... this guy is a homebody - he stays back at the base.  But what does he do?  What is going on in all this guy's spare time?  Does he just sit around twiddling his thumbs, waiting for a captured Joe to be brought in?  Probably not.  So here is my thoughts on how I think the system works...

    Crystal Ball is the Cobra Janitor or maybe he is the Cobra Terror Drome Gardener...?  Plain and simple, it's not the most glamorous, high-profile job, but someone has to do it and there's nothing wrong with that.  Furthermore, he is good at his job and it is noticed and appreciated by Cobra Commander!  Somewhere along the line, however, he mentions to Cobra Commander that he "is the seventh son of a seventh son" and that he can "read minds", blah blah blah.  Well, CC likes Crystal Ball and the work he does, so he humors him and gives him a shot.  They allow him access to a Joe prisoner and Crystal Ball attempts to read his mind.  He comes up with some information that ends up being "...in the ballpark".  It was not 100% accurate, but close enough to make CC say "well... maybe..."

    CC doesn't want to risk losing Crystal Ball's fine janitorial or landscaping work, so CC throws him a bone and upgrades his title to Cobra Hypnotist.  So in the meantime, Crystal Ball still attends to his other normal duties.  But when a Joe prisoner is brought in, they let Crystal Ball have a crack at him and see if he has any success.  If that doesn't work... and it seldom does... then they send the prisoner over to Dr. Mindbender and see what he can come up with.  

    Crazy theory huh?  While you are wrapping your mind around that concept, here's another factoid about Crystal Ball for you...  he's dead.  Or at least he is presumed dead...  

    Among the Impel G.I. Joe Trading Cards in 1991, there was a series called "Honor Roll".  These were cards for characters that had died in the comics such as Doc, Crazy Legs and Serpentor.  It also included characters like Golobulas, who died in G.I. Joe: The Movie.  Crystal Ball was included in this line-up.  It can't be the fact that they simply needed another character to round out the "Honor Roll" and just threw him in there.  There are others that were left out.  Hang in there now, it gets weirder.

    It would appear his "death" ties into events with G.I. Joe: The Movie.  It states that "he returned to Cobra-La to investigate rumors of revolution and was there when a massive earthquake sealed off the passage to the hidden city".  Take note that it says he RETURNED to Cobra-La.  Why???  Because if you look at the top of the card it states that his birthplace IS Cobra-La!?!?!  Even weirder - according to the cards, none of the birthplaces of the three Cobra-La characters (Golobulas, Nemesis Enforcer, and the Royal Guard) are known...?  So Crystal Ball's birthplace is Cobra-La but Golobulas' is Classified???  I guess it all depends on how much stock you put into what the card's say.

    ANYWAYS... the Crystal Ball figure overall...  I'm going to have to give him a rating of 2 out of 5 Fortune Cookies.  The figure looks unique and has great detail, but he is weak in the accessories department.  Furthermore, his position in Cobra isn't clear.  I just don't understand why they need this guy?  I would have rather the file card explain how he hypnotizes the Joes into revealing all that juicy information, instead, he reads minds... sometimes.  

    Crystal Ball for me was one of those purchases where you had money for a figure, but there just wasn't anyone there you REALLY wanted.  So you just said "oh, okay" and grabbed someone a little lower on your list.

    So where are you at on the "Crystal Ball Appreciation Society"?  Are you a fan of this odd Cobra Operative or did you not care for him?  What do you think ol Mindbender thinks of this guy hanging around?  Does he consider him competition or more of a joke?  What are your theories on his "death"?  Hit me with your thoughts on this Crystal Ball guy below...

Behind-the-Scenes and other fun, random facts:

--- Crystal Ball's file card was apparently written by author Steven King.  Hasbro also apparently named Sneak Peek's file name after Steven's son!  

--- The first picture of Crystal Ball on this blog was taken in beautiful Nashville, In.  While on a walk one night, I noticed a flower bed with a lamp that looked like a night place for him to be creeping around.  I happened to have the figure on me as I had just picked it up at a shop that day.